HOW WILL YOU GET
THIS CONVERSATION GOING?
"I think you are working too hard, in fact, I think you are a
Workaholic."
For the purpose of this story, we're assuming you have a spouse,
a friend, a co-worker, that you feel is working waaaaay too hard and really needs
to start to relax before they have a "blow-out." Here's a couple
of suggested way to bring it up. Which one do you think might work better?
Let's call this person Mary.
Plan A - "Mary, I was surfing the web today and I came across a bunch of information on Workaholics and they have some books that they recommend which will really help you since we both know you work way too much. Would you like to check out the sites or can I buy you one of the books to read?"
OR Plan B (suggested by Dr. Workaholic)
"Mary, I saw the funniest thing on the web today and to tell you the truth it reminded me of you just the slightest little bit (laughing). Do you want to have a look?
OK, you know how people are always saying to you that you are "busting your butt" or "keeping your nose to the grindstone" and "burning the midnight oil." Well, look at what somebody has come up with (show them the page you've printed or the page on the WIN web site) - in case you run out of midnight oil, you can get a bottle of it; to protect your nose there's some Grindstone Protection Cream; you need more time to get things done and there's even some "tyme" for you; look there's a working clock with no hands because, for you, "it's always time to work." Isn't that a scream.
OK, of course YOU are not a workaholic, we know that, but the questions are funny so how about taking the test - which surely you will fail.
(Give them the test questions and see how they do)
If they "failed" we don't have a problem here, if they passed you can say,
"Ooops Mary, holy (insert your favorite noun, like cow), you passed. According to these guys, you just could be........a what Mary? Yes, a Workaholic. So, in the unlikely event that they are right, Mary, how's about if I get you a nice gift of a Survival Kit For a Workaholic so you can have some fun with it, and just maybe get reminded that, in the unlikely event that you are a workaholic, you might want to get your (insert body part) home.
What's "wrong" with Plan A? Because of the aftermath of the conversation. What is the conversation likely to be after Plan A? "I'm not a workaholic and don't say that again; I'm going to work." And where do you go from there, how do you bring it up again. How do you make that an easy conversation. And is it terribly realistic that they will actually say, "Oh great, yes, please buy me a book on the subject and I'll have a look." Probably you had a 75% chance of irritating Mary, and a 20% chance she would say, "yes, buy me a book," and a 5% chance she would actually read that book - after all, she's way too busy working too much to read a book about working too much.
Why does the Doctor suggest Plan B? Because the aftermath of the conversation is, if nothing else, some laughs over what you read and saw. You have an out to say, "well I knew that wasn't you, Mary, but I thought it was so funny - all the things we always heard about and, tada, there's a bottle of midnight oil." At least the seed has been planted, and no one is upset, and you didn't make any accusations, and you could always now order Mary a Survival Kit because surely she had some laughs with it and would get a kick out of it - besides, what other gift costing less than $100 will be truly unique for her next occasion?
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